Snap back to reality...

Ok, so I have been meaning to post for over a week now, and I finally feel like I am not being pulled a million directions, so here I go.
Every once in a while I get a big fat slap in the face. I guess a reality check, I don't know, but this one was big. It was Sunday April 3rd, and I had just finished working a 12 hour shift, and I was EXHAUSTED. I planned on getting my kids and going straight home, but my mom had bought a big Birthday cake to celebrate a few of the "April Birthday's", Bradan's being one of them. So, I decided to go over and join in on the fun.
As I was leaving work Stryder sent me a text and asked if I would meet him at a gas station in Orem to pick up the kids. It was right up the street from where I was at, and it would save him some time, so I drove over there and waited.
While I was waiting, I was texting family back and forth, promising that I was coming for cake. As my wait grew longer, I started to panic. There really no reason to panic, I knew he was coming from further away, but all I could think of was that there had been an accident and all three of my babies were in his little truck, and it was devastating. The longer I waited, the worse it got. I thought I was going to have a panic attack, and I had only been waiting about 20 minutes. My thoughts were out of control, and I KNEW something was wrong. I thought to myself  "As soon as I hear sirens, I will know it's my kids" I even wondered who I would call from the hospital. It got to the point where I was making myself literally sick! I had my head turned so I could watch the road for any sign of the green truck. Then I saw him, and I let out a huge sigh of relief and cursed myself for getting all worked up. Stryder pulled up next to me and help load the kids in my car, and we left.
We headed out on 1200 West and we were talking, I was asking them the usual questions about how their day was, and what they had been doing. As we approached the 800 North intersection, the light was green and cars ahead of me were going through, and I proceeded without any thought. Soon after entering the intersection, Dylan yelled "MOM", and it gave me enough time to look over and see a red car coming straight for us, I remember thinking, "We might not get hit", but before my mind had a chance to finish the thought, the dreaded sound of metal slamming on metal blasted, and then our car was spinning out of control. At one point it felt like we were going to tip. It was seconds, but I thought it would never stop. I knew it was bad. My kids were SCREAMING, and I panicked!! I didn't know if they were hurt, or just justifiably shaken up!! I heard Dylan yelling from the back seat "Mom, Mom , SAYDIE", and my heart sank. I didn't want to turn around. From there things happened so fast, that it's almost a blur. I know I jumped out of the car. I opened up Saydie's door, and she looked up at me with her big blue eyes, and she had a huge bump on her head, and a little cut on her lip. I knew she was ok. I looked at Dylan, She was hysterical, but ok. I then looked at Bradan who was in the front seat, and was trying to get out of the car to go find the "idiots who hit us". I had to run to the other side and stop him from running out into the middle of the intersection.
I remember calling Stryder, and saying "we just got hit, it's BAD". After we had left he stayed at the gas station, because he had a bad feeling, so he was there in minutes. There was a lady who was there helping me with my kids, she told me she witnessed the accident, and that she was an RN, and was on the phone with 911. I was still trying to figure out what had happened... I mean I knew we were in a wreck but, I just couldn't really process what was going on. I called my brother in law because I knew we wouldn't all fit in Stryder's truck to get home, and I needed a ride. I then heard the sirens, and it dawned on me, they still might be hurt. I was so grateful to see them alive, I just wanted to get them home, I didn't think they could STILL be injured. My mind was not right. The paramedics assessed each of us and then moved us into the ambulance, and said that we all looked good, but because of the speed and the impact of the crash that we should all go get checked. I agreed, and that was it. We were all headed to the hospital.
The ride seemed like it took forever, but when we were almost there, I looked out the back glass doors, and saw my brother following behind us. He was sure a sight for sore eyes! Things were starting to come together.We were hit, we were hit hard! We were all ALIVE, and seemingly ok. At the hospital they split us up. They put Dylan and Bradan in one room, and Saydie and I in another. As soon as Stryder got there I sent him to sit with the other two, and I had Erik in with me.

I started feeling pain in my neck and shoulder from whiplash, Saydie had a concussion. The other two were fine. They wanted to go home!!

You can't really see the bump in the picture, but it was a doozie.

Dylan was "READY TO GO"

Bradan was happy to get to go home!

So, we headed home. Erik took Saydie and I, and Stryder had Dylan and Bradan. I remember walking in the house still questioning what had just happened. I sat on the couch and stared at my kids. Saydie was laying by me, Bradan was on the computer, and Dylan was doing homework. I took it all in, the crash, the screams, the panic! The police came and talked to me at the hospital and told me the driver had ran a red light, and they did not see ANY brake marks. She must have been doing something to not even look up at an intersection!! I found myself ANGRY, and scared, and lucky...most of all LUCKY!! We were told seconds made a difference in this crash, had I been going any faster we could have missed her, had I been going slower, she could have hit DIRECTLY where Saydie or myself were sitting, and I can't let my mind think of what could have been. It was SECONDS!! I sat there, and I picked up a pillow and sobbed, uncontrollably. My kids were comforting me!
It just opened my eyes to how quickly your lives can be changed. SECONDS. That's all it takes. I decided to blow up our air mattress and sleep with all my kids next to me. I wanted to be able to reach out and be able to touch them ALL. And that is how we slept for the first 2 nights.
I woke up extremely sore. So did Saydie. We both stayed home and lay there watching movies. I then got a text from Troy that he was driving out from California to come see us. I tried convincing him that we were ok, but he "needed an excuse" and I LOVE having any of my family come stay! Without my Family and friend's support through all of this it would have been too much!! Erik brought in Pizza for Dinner, and I had so much support from everybody!! It was so comforting!
So Day 2. Bradan was now hurting, and I figured we all probably had some whiplash going on. Dylan also had a bruise from her seat belt, but all I kept thinking is how LUCKY we were!
I got a call from the insurance and they told me that I need to go get anything that I would need out of my car, as they would be picking it up to look at it and assess the damage. So Erik and I went down there, and when I saw it, I couldn't believe it!! My little Jimmy sure can take a beating. She looked fine. Erik even said, "Nah it's not totaled, they'll fix it"

The tire that blew out from us spinning

                                                     

The damage... Not BAD!! The red thing hanging there is off of her car....

So, I was pretty excited to see that Jimmy had served us well, but I grabbed my things out that I would need until it got fixed.
Later that night Troy was there! It was fantastic! He brought with him a feeling of security. I was still so unsure about what was going on, and still having a lot of pain, but he was there, and he just listened to me tell the same story, over and over again!




As time went on, I tried getting my life back to normal, but my days were filled with visits to the chiropractor, calls to the insurance, waiting for a rental, and trying to figure out what to do next.

The rental came the next day and I was surprised at how scared I was to get behind the wheel! I picked it up and went straight home. Later on, I had to go out, and run a couple of errands, Dylan's glasses had broken in the accident, we had to go find replacement, I had to load up on my Reeces Mini's, (and other food items), and I told myself I wasn't going to be afraid. The kids and I decided to go to the intersection where it happened, and we were going to drive through it, just to prove that we were not cursed, or just to close the chapter of fear... I don't know why, but we did it.

My interpretation of the events...

GOSH!!!! So what next?? I hung out with Troy. Tried working on homework and found that sitting in a chair too long was pretty uncomfortable. I loved on my kids as much as possible, had a couple of nervous breakdowns, and still managed to wake up each morning. A couple of days later I did hear from the insurance company that my car was an "obvious total loss", I was shocked, because as you see in the pictures the damage doesn't look that bad, and I was planning on having my car back in a few days, but the frame took a hit and was bent and I was told that it is very expensive to fix, more so then my car was worth.  Now I had the stress of what to do for a car, they were giving me a check, but the Jimmy was old, and not worth too much, but I figured I would use it for a down payment on a new car, but I was running out of time with the rental. STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! 

The night I needed Calgon, and Troy helped with reading!!

So, As Troy's visit was winding down, I panicked as I realized I hadn't gotten any fun pictures of all of us.. so here are few...

They absolutely LOVED getting to know UncleTroy!

What are brothers for?

As Saydie says..."He's Silly"

After I begged Troy to move in with me and I offered him the Air Mattress for LIFE, I did understand that he needed to get home to Paul, and his own life!! So away he went!!
The next day I had to drive to Salt Lake to pick up my check from the insurance company, and I also had to track down where the Jimmy was because I had forgotten to get a couple of things, and Bradan wanted to say good bye! It turned into a 6 hour adventure!

One last look, she really took a hard hit and saved our lives.
I guess we got attached to our little Jimmy, and it really was hard to say goodbye! 

 Watching Bradan was the hardest.
He is a sentimental little guy
   and he insisted on taking something
off of the Jimmy to have forever,
               so he PRIED the "Jimmy" logo
off the back bumper and I imagine
he will hold onto it forever!

 So, we started our search for a new car!! I did internet searches, and had plenty of fantastic advise from my brothers on what not to do, and how to NOT get scammed while trying to buy a new car. It took us 2 days, but we found Jimmy's cousin, and we are thrilled!

"lil cuz"

So, here we are, beginning to pick up the pieces. It was an awful experience, but out of it came some good. We have all learned how fragile life is, and we try not to take anything for granite. The most IMPORTANT thing for me was that I get to tuck my kids into bed at night. Cars are replaceable, had anything happened to any of my children, I don't think I would have been able to cope! I thank God each and everyday for my children. They are my life! I will continue to grow and so will they.
Now I have to FOCUS on my school work!! AGHHH!!MORE STRESSSSSSSSSS! I have missed a lot of school and I have this week to dedicate to catching up!! I know I can do it! This was one of life's bumps, and while it slowed us down, there is no stopping us!!
Thank you to ALL for being there, and helping me get through it~